The Faulty Towers

"He's from Barcelona". If you're too young to remember this catchphrase from Fawlty Towers then you're probably baffled by the brouhaha which has greeted Russell Brand and Jonathan Ross's faux pas last weekend. Or more accurately, Radio 2's faux pas. They employed them after all. What initially seemed like a storm in a teacup has now morphed into a public frenzy of indignation, egged on by certain sections of the press.

I won't dwell on whether Brand and Ross's call was "offensive". You can make your own mind up by watching it here.

It's a pretty rambling, incoherent and generally shambolic scene, interspersed with a few crudities that are pretty tame in comparison to a lot of what we hear on the box (or on the internet) these days.

What is more pertinent is what the whole saga says about British society.

When the show went out 2 people complained. That's right, 2. After a Mail on Sunday story of outrage the number of complaints rocketed to 30,000 . Why the snowballing outrage? It's because we're all sofa-bound judges now, and technology has empowered us to instantly register our outrage, at the click of a button. No need for posting a letter nowadays. I'll wager that most complainers haven't actually heard the offending prank. It just doesn't add up.

But add to the mix a few more combustible elements. The first is money, or more accurately, resentment at money. Or more accurately still, envy. We have to pay our licence fee under pain of imprisonment. And people don't like seeing their millions of their money going to people who annoy them. Because Ross and Brand annoy a lot of people. The mob love to see the mighty brought low, the arrogant humbled.

The feeling that we sit in judgement over transgressors is empowering and allows us to stare down haughtily from the moral high ground. Licence fee payers' resentment and irritation towards entertainers who grate on the sensibilities has finally found an outlet.

Self-righteousness has a symbiotic relationship with another two other quintessentially British traits, the championing of the underdog and the sense of 'fair play'. Andrew Sachs was an in a sitcom a few decades ago, where he played a fool who could speak no English. He is fondly remembered as that fool. He is almost a national institution and belongs to a different era. He is certainly not viewed as a legitimate target for ridicule. If Ross and Brand had chosen a Big Brother contestant with a big mouth who has made more money than we have they would have got away with it. But the public now views them as bullies, kicking sand in the face of a much-loved old actor. Wrong target, guys.

As for Sach's grand-daughter she's now sold her 'story' to The Sun, so embodying another feature of modern society, the fetish for self-abasement for money.

Now The Mail on Sunday seems to specialise in outrage. It seems to have a patent on it. If there were no outrage, the MoS would be outraged at the lack of outrage, other papers would pick up the story and soon message boards and inboxes would be full of outraged messages bemoaning the scarcity of Things To Be Indignant About. From Mr Outraged from Orpington.

None of us would like to see our elderly relatives publicly humiliated. What Ross and Brand did was ungentlemanly and some form of censure would have sufficed. If you think this is untrue, ask yourself if you would remain silent if your granddad was treated similarly. But this is now nothing to do with helping an old man up off the floor. It’s a reflection of the media-obsessed, self-righteous age in which we live, where the trivial is elevated to the important, where the media hue-and-cry can make people lose all sense of perspective and where the herd instinct of large swathes of the public says more about the state of this country than a few overrated comedians.

Short Sellers, Wrong Culprits

The other day I went for drinks and dinner with an old university friend of mine who now works in the corporate finance arm of Santander, the Spanish owners of Abbey National. He had an interesting perspective on the knee-jerk headlines in the tabloid press to what have variously been termed 'speculators' and 'spivs' - or more accurately, short sellers. No, not vertically-challenged grocers, but stock market traders who make a living betting against the market.

Put simply, they sell before they buy. How, you ask? Well they are allowed to by regulators, providing they buy back their shares when they are required to. Guess what – if the share value has dropped by the time they have to buy, they pocket the difference. Tidy, as they say. So as share values fall, they keep selling, and await the falling price. But of course the very act of their selling depresses the price even further and a vicious circle emerges. Sounds like an unmitigated evil. Except that it isnt’ always so. As my friend explained, short sellers serve a purpose as a useful ‘corrective tool’ for a market that is overvalued – as many markets we now know were. By betting against trends they help to stabilise prices. In fact they play a critical role in regulating the share price.

By going short during the current crisis, many hedge funds actually reduced the size of the bubble and therefore the subsequent crash. There was, I believe, an argument for stopping short selling when panic set in and share prices began to plummet. But guess what? When short selling was halted, the price dive continued. Not a very convincing case for the prosecution. As my friend was at pains to point out to me, there are no such thing as ‘speculators’. They don’t exist. It is a pejorative word used by those who want to believe that whoever is making money must be responsible for the current crisis.

Whenever there's a crisis you can always rely on politicians or journalists with an agenda to jump on a bandwagon. In Germany politicians were particularly hostile. So virtually every politician in need of a soundbite, and every tabloid wanting to shift a few copies has tried to blame the 'speculators'. Because it's easy. And because everyone (they think) must share their belief that if someone's doing well, it must be the cause of someone doing badly. Except that the truth is more complex, and unfortunately, more worrying than that.

Point the finger at greedy and stupid banks, but mostly blame stupid governments for overspending, for forcing banks to give out bad loans, for sustaining a credit bubble and then for being asleep while banks loans went bad. Governments and banks forgot – there’s no such thing as a free lunch.

How to learn for free on the internet

An article on personal finance I wrote for the website http://www.moneymagpie.com/, explaining how learn for free using the internet:

"How about boosting your earning potential by learning a new skill - for free? Use Moneymagpie's guide and find courses that will cost you absolutely nothing.
There are many online courses available - but most will charge you. However, there are colleges, universities and voluntary organisations out there that are prepared to share knowledge and skills over the internet without demanding a fee...."

Read the full article here:
http://www.moneymagpie.com/article/boost-your-job-prospects-for-free

Beat the Credit Crunch - get super-cheap flights

My article on how to travel to Asia cheaply by being a courier, from the website http://www.moneymagpie.com/

"If you're prepared to be a courier for the airline industry you can snap up some super-cheap bargains on long-haul flights.
A courier flight is when you accompany a vetted package on a flight, allowing you to buy heavily-discounted flights to certain long-haul destinations...."

Read the full article here:
http://www.moneymagpie.com/article/get-50-off-flights-be-a-courier/53

Travel write-up: Seattle

My review of Seattle, USA, from website http://www.travelbite.com/
-------------
"Caramel macchiatto anyone? How about a grande non-fat latte? No? Well, not to worry. Even if these varieties of Seattle's most famous beverage aren't your cup of tea, there is plenty besides coffee in this gem of a city to whet your appetite. Nestled up in the north-west corner of the United States, just 50 miles from the Canadian border, Seattle has spent 40 years forging its own unique identity, separate and distinct from the sprawling metropolises of America's east and west coasts. Of course, being the home of Starbucks, coffee is its most famous export - as you'd expect from a city with over 300 Starbucks shops. If the coffee doesn't keep you awake then the attractions may well do so instead....."

For more go to
http://www.travelbite.co.uk/feature/north-america/united-states/sleep-less-in-seattle-$1227452.htm