Cadbury's. The crumbliest, flakiest takeover in the world

My manager recently brought back some Hershey chocolates from her trip to New York. They were disgusting, really gross. Like chalk. Everyone hated them. Kraft are no better. What chocolates do they make? Does anyone like their stuff? And now Cadbury’s, a great British institution, is to be sold to Kraft.

As a student at Warwick University I remember visiting the Cadbury’s factory near Birmingham. It was fantastic to see a real chocolate factory. I literally was a kid in a sweet shop.

But now bang goes another British company. Not just a company, a British institution. The French protect industries they see as strategically important or culturally sensitive. Not us in Britain. Apparently Lord Mandelson sternly warned the head of Kraft that a hostile bid would meet with resistance – but he didn’t actually block it. He should have. Or if the law prevents such a course of action the law should be amended.

Firstly because American chocolate is rank. It sucks. You need a sick bucket nearby if you decide to eat it. Or a pet dog to feed it to. A much-loved British name, beloved by generations of British kids (and adults) is being sold to a food company that has no interest in the tradition, history and (more than likely) the quality that makes Cadbury’s….Cadbury’s.

But there’s another, less sentimental reason to have opposed this smash-and-grab raid. Everyone is (rightly) upset about bankers’ bonuses, but the purchase of Cadbury’s is far more damaging to the British taxpayer. Jobs will go as Kraft relocates jobs to cheaper locations: that more unemployed, more welfare payments and consequently lower tax revenues. Factories will undoubtedly close, damaging local economies. The income from corporation tax will vanish as the new owners will find ways to ensure the company is officially located for tax purposes in lower-tax countries, or even in tax havens. As senior staff are relocated to the parent company’s favoured locations the Exchequer will lose their tax contributions too.

Tetleys, Range Rover, BAA and now Cadburys. They’re not just British institutions, they are important components of the local and national economies. Sell them off and shareholders may pocket a little extra but really no-one else benefits. Certainly not the employees. The Government has had an open-door policy to takeovers in even the most strategically important areas, like motor manufacturing. What next – BP? British Aerospace? The Government should act more robustly to prevent takeovers where there is not a cast-iron guarantee over jobs and investment. British industry should not be at the mercy of foreign takeovers like this. There’s just no discernible benefit to Britain in this takeover.

The new foreign owners can, and do, close them down or relocate the jobs and investment at a whim. We’re not talking about competing with Chinese TV manufacturers here. These companies are competitive and successful. There’s no need to find foreign buyers who couldn’t care less what they’re taking over: they just see a balance sheet of assets to be shoved around. The mania for sell-offs has to stop somewhere. I just hope the shareholders are courageous and at the last minute reject the offer. It’s still possible, but don’t hold your breath.